where do I even begin?
lately my body has fallen into bed each night with such a feel of exhaustion that even sleep can’t heal it. yet I wake up, 6:00am without a minute to spare, mind springing forward as my body drags along.
life lately is filled with so much good, I feel it bratty to complain. because there wasn’t enough to consume me, through some type of serendipity, I got a new job. a work from home job which, in combination with the troubles associated with a 8 year old gem, prompted me to sell our car. we are now a no-car family.
a family-me and him and him and me- almost officially, too. In…let’s see, 16 days! In 16 days we will be married in the eyes of the law. the last weeks have been filled with last minute scribbling and fittings- by fittings, I mean trying on my dress in front of our bathroom half-mirror and, upon realizing it too big, shrugging and putting it back in the closet (after only a minor meltdown). It’s only a little big, don’t worry. And in L’s words, it’s flow-y, right? By scribbling, I mean spending hours scouring forums and literary review sights for inspiration for our vows. my god is that hard. why doesn’t anyone tell you how hard this is? My friend, Clare, says it’s impossible to summarize each and every thing you feel for someone-each and every thing you will spend a life time communicating with them-in a 10 sentence blurb. No truer words, folks. Between that and some striking moments with ladies far craftier than me, I think I am on my way. Wiping away tears after every line is a good thing, yeah?
As if by magic, five goddesses surprised me this past weekend with the most special visit in celebration of my rapidly dwindling bachelorette-hood (16 days!). They wined (or gin-ed ) and dined me in the most perfect way possible (here and here), and even made sure I was gifted the requisite clothes line and properly decked out with a perfect paper-flower crown (to be sold on Etsy soon, stay tuned). I told them that night, I had no idea how much I needed those hours of pure celebration. Their excitement strengthened mine. What a gift that is!
In one week from Saturday, we depart for our Hawaiian adventure. I’m taking carry-on suitcase and a tote bag. My dress will be in the tote bag since no, you may not gate-check this bag, thankyouverymuch. I may very well have gone overboard as a minimalist bride, but I’m owning it. My days of lists are dwindling. There are precisely 2 items left on my pre-departure to-do. That document I cobbled together back in January to give myself some semblance of sanity.
L says let’s just go… to the seemingly never-ending stresses that were supposed to almost dissipate by eloping. The constant second guessing or pressure to choose the exact right shade of eye shadow or material for a pocket square. Let’s just go. Exhale the external pressure that causes the internal, and breathe in the joy and once-in-a-lifetime anticipation that I’m willing us to savor.
title derived from my mild obsession with all things ’60s as of late (and always, really).