Today is the first day of Spring (thank God). Today also marks my half-birthday, the birthday that will leave me on the other side of 25, closer to 30 than to 20, instead of an even split. I’m writing about this because I’m aware of how trivial it all is. Age, socially instilled goals, expectations you lose sleep over, acting ‘your age’…It’s all just rubbish if you ask be (not that you did) and I’m exhausted.
For the first five years of my 20s I’ve found comfort in the promise of my 30s. The illusion that by that time I’ll have it all together, whatever that means. I realized, though, that the things that are happening in my twenties are a reflection of the parts of me that I never want to outgrow. It feels so good to think that…to say it, to believe it and to try my hardest to live it.
So for the remaining years of my twenties I’m letting myself free. I have ideas of how I will make this will happen. You can call it a quarter life crisis if you want to, but I’m committed to myself and my happiness…one of my only ‘non-negotiables’.
I will travel without guilt and with abandon.
I will cook meals for the people I care about to feed and love, not to please or impress
I will marry when the time is right for us, not when others suggest
I will celebrate my friendships and build them upon honesty and love
I will be kind to myself and nurture my cravings for independence
I will challenge they way things are supposed to be done and do them my way
I will continue to dream and change accordingly without fear of disappointing others
I will challenge fear
I will be present in the process
to be tweaked, grown and followed…